WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
