your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You left your phone here
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