If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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