chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Drake has all the answers
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
