This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
