Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
