put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
