She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
