It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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