No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You are the jesus of drinking
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
