It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
