the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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