i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
