it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
