you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
