Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
