North Korea, Best Korea!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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