you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
