the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
