i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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