There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
