i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize