My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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