the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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