You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
