4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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