these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
