i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
