And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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