i think my mom watched the whole time
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
