I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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