Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
