I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
