Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
