If that was your dad, he is hot
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
