small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
