Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
