i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
