I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
