I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
