I'm really into asian looking animals
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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