Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
