Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
