Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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