Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
