Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
