there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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