man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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