READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no, he came in my armpit
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
