I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
