Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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