No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
